jj

as i crossed the great white ocean i failed a great white lie
my heart went up in smoke
just as fireworks in July

the empty space behind depression

some things and nothings, presents to keep. gift rapped in apathy and delivered to meek. gladly excepted and expected with glee, these wonderful mouthfuls of plentiful greed. bring on the champagne the disdain the gun, stab me with nonsense and pretense and fun. it's all fun and games until some one gets hurt, but what if there's no one behind a fell smirk.

florida

if only you felt how i did! oh wouldn't we just be splendid. neither to weep or worry any more. it would be the coming of the tide, it would a good life by your side

when i lose a fragment it's simply burred beneath a wave of oceans tide and hidden mind. so i could swim all day and night searching for what i've lost, but it's fruitless.

why should i. i could stand here and wait for waves to wash ashore.
i could craft a pole and fish for core.

regardless of what i do it comes back.
fleeting pretense of emotions i've stretched to last.
in the end i've had it all along.
it didn't crest it didn't sink i simply let it bore

deep into what my mind plagues gone
so we build fisherman wharfs and sail in circled sea
fishing the same habitats of memories

scowling and sad the boats go afloat
to bring back the bounty of the vast and endless thee

it never left, it's always free
but just as sad passing it too is a fleeting Epiphany

i dont feel like editing this, that being said.
the summer months feel good to me and i dont plan on wasting them, i may not get him back with any of this but i will grow more in the direction i want to go.
so kill me, i know you wont because you cant read this.
but oh well, i know my kindness has killed me.
it has grabbed me around my neck and steered my into a direction i didnt want to go, and now here i am.
im so far behind, im so far gone., but i cant fault any one but me.
i hate it. i hate that it caused me my friends. i hate that it cost me the love of my life. i hate that it changed me. i need to know i cant be changed by any one by the person who ment most and i.
im in a battle, it's with my self. and i have lost untill today.

SO! bring it on. maybe i am to late, but that doesn't mean im not to late to be a good friend.
and thats all i want....... i cant seee my life without him, even if he is a friend..... he was my best friend. i cant see having a better friend them him.

post toast

when a water font becomes a stone,
the home front of being stone
sea waters eroding
the lands bar-coding

sea waters rise and fall
the organs play to dull
and all in all we symphonize our legends into grains of sand
enter now the big band

play for us the organ
sing me the sad tune that flays man
revel in the white fish
dance in the puddle of the dead fish delight
make me a seaker, make me a crane
make me a house wife dead sac on the plain


so what if i cower
so what if they coltoure
make me a pedestal to place my false dish
consume the fertile and maim
bless the poor and steal the innocent
the economic bright

the world is a shit bag,
my hand is a feed sag
your mind is brilliant
my head is a sand bag

welcome in open arms the sadness that envelops us
by it a green bag and worship its factories productivity slag.

worship the dead man and receive the bloated hand
worship the mad man and fail to a dead man

i pledge allegiance, to rational debate, and logical methods of ruling

i dont want my kids reciting this.... for the wonderfull reason that is this.

i could care less if my child is reciting a saying with the word god in it. god is a vague term referring to an interstellar omnipotent being. almost every religion has one, why does it matter how he is addressed. the reason i don't want my kids reciting it is because it is a sick and devious way to subject my kids to patriotism when they have no idea what it truly means to be patriotic. so instead of the government having to gain the trust of generations, they simply implant the idea into the heads of impressionable youth that their government is good and should not be questioned.

so good riddance to it, and anyway. god should have nothing to do with this country. as god should have nothing to do with politics, policies, diplomacy, or war. though here we are, America the country what defends every country in the world in the name of freedom, but refuses to protect our own. yep...

im very sure god would bless us, because god is a cruel individual indeed.

fucker.

we dance like gunmen on the front line
moved by action and reflex
to target the swinging pine
to burn the needles of the greener

may we try and listen to the situation
we may not
only in death can we hear what we missed

may i concentrate a bit longer
this war cannont be fought
the sounds are getting louder

you have the gun that beckons me
i have the heart that beckons the
together we make a perfect pair
dead on in the sites my bones stripped bare
so there we are in your armored car
who's turn is it to drive

not mine, not while im still alive.
we need a death to commence tradgedy
to bring the frail murmurings of peace into reality
we need a riflemen and we need a fiddle
we need a law man your lives in the middle
you bring the wood, and ill bring the fire
we've got us a witch to burn
inflames by a liar.

so you stride away in your neon gray
be the better of the worse
find your self only in dismay
but i have a large ax
and i have death tax
and you have the bounty
you have a whole sea

whats fair is fair
but not for me
because you have a blood lust
and i a broken knee.

you are the law man
and i am a champion
but this is no happy film
my fate was chosen by your dead hand

to grave to grave
no sympathy can save
the dead are dead
and the beautiful are better then you.