when i think about my self i must know that everything is happening subjectively due to the world around me.

i may not have been an excellent writer at any givin moment in my time. yet there was a certain time in which i was great and far ahead of my time, a time when i was lacking and now. when i am far behind.

i should save my self but im stricken with an endless need to release my bowels into a pure and white bowl.

i find it entertaining that we use the color white for our shitters. white is reserved for good and wholesome yet, expelling fecal matter is by far the most disgusting of our little ticks as humans.


anyway... as a memo to my self, on my most holy of places, my me space. i would say i need to get back to some basics. i need to go back to an earlier time when i had it harder, and when i thought longer. when i ranted more and when i cared less.

take me father back to my self. that which i have been looking for since a chemical stole you away.

i also want to remind my self. I AM BORED WITH MY LIFE! i am tired of this bullshit endless cycle and really need to break it... gota strive for more. but its hard when a bitch lives up your ass and an instigater feeds the whole damned thing... i'll get out of this soon. soon my dear life we can have solace and try harder and do better.